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6 Tips for Talking to Your Aging Loved One About Nursing Homes

tips for talking to aging loved one about nursing homesTalking to a loved one about moving into a nursing home is something no one wants to do. We all wish we had enough time and proper resources to care for our loved ones on our own, but the reality is far from that. Whether your loved one has a debilitating health condition or is struggling to live an independent life, a quality nursing home may benefit them. However, many of us avoid having conversations surrounding nursing homes until it’s too late, and we’re forced to make decisions without fully understanding our loved one’s needs.  

Failure to adequately prepare to send your loved one to a nursing home could increase their risk of being at the mercy of neglectful caregivers. It’s imperative to have these conversations in a safe space and within a reasonable time frame to ensure all important factors are taken into consideration. Here are six thoughtful tips that will help you get started on talking to your aging loved one about nursing homes. 

Talk to Siblings or Family Members First 

Involving your siblings or close family members is a great way to make the conversation easier. It can help show your loved one that everyone has come together in agreement on what’s best for them. Before you sit down to discuss this as a family, it’s best to have a separate conversation with your siblings or relatives about any plans you may have in mind for your loved one. Encourage them to provide any input they might have so you can tackle disagreements or disputes before they arise. If you can’t find common ground, reach out to a social worker or unbiased third party for help deciding. 

Have Meaningful Conversations Early On 

When you start to notice that everyday activities are becoming a struggle for your loved one, this may be the perfect time to start having the conversation. Whether it’s after an injury or when your loved one starts complaining about certain issues they’re having, you can speak briefly on how a nursing home can help. Having these meaningful conversations early on allows you to control the direction and tone of the conversation. 

Revisit the Discussion Regularly

Only having one conversation about nursing homes is not going to solve the issue at hand. Regularly revisiting the discussion can help you learn what your loved one may be hesitant about. For instance, many elders fear that they will be isolated and miss out on all the great things life has to offer, especially their families or grandchildren. You can reassure them that just because they’re being cared for somewhere else doesn’t mean you’ll forget about them.  

Approach the Conversation with an Open Mind 

When you approach the conversation, don’t make it seem like you’ve already decided on your own. It’s important to inform them of not only the benefits but also the negatives they might witness or experience in nursing homes. Actively listen to your loved one’s thoughts and concerns, as this will show them that you truly care about their wellbeing. Use “we” instead of “I” to establish collectiveness, and be cautious with how you describe a nursing home. Instead of saying “assisted living” or “nursing home,” you can spark engagement with phrases like “resort-style retirement homes” or “community living.” 

Present Multiple Options 

Don’t just pick a nursing home and tell your loved one this is where they will be moved. It won’t be as effective, and they may start feeling extremely frustrated with you. By presenting multiple options, you give your loved one a chance to be included in a decision about themself. Go on several different visits or tours of nursing homes together to learn about how services vary and what great things your loved one can look forward to. 

Understand Their Financial Situation 

Some elders may be reluctant to seek care from a nursing home if they feel that it is too expensive. Find out if your loved one has a budget in place for long-term care or if they have a savings account that they would be willing to tap into. Or, speak to your siblings or relatives about pitching in to help with the costs. Consult different nursing homes and financial specialists to learn more about the costs of such services. 

NYC Nursing Home Abuse Lawyers Defending the Elderly 

As you can tell, making the decision to have your loved one receive care in a nursing home facility is not simple. However, we do so because we expect they will receive better care than they would on their own. When nursing homes and their employees act negligently towards your loved one, the repercussions can be fatal—which is why it is so important to prepare. Unfortunately, even with extensive amounts of preparation, you can’t control how people treat others. 

What you can do is file a lawsuit against these reckless parties to obtain justice and financial compensation for your or your loved one’s losses. The NYC nursing home abuse attorneys at  Dalli & Marino, LLP, are committed to defending the rights of our elderly population and will back your case with nearly 25 years of combined experience, accumulated resources, and substantial accomplishments. Call 888-465-8790 or complete our contact form for a free case evaluation.


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